Most of my friends are counting days and hours to 5pm Friday. Weekend. Good morning hangover! Do I remember any of those?
Instead I am wondering day by day how it happened baby Z is nearly 4 months. I just woke up, set kettle for a coffee and it is already evening.
Unbelievable dark view behind the window. Winter. Depressing time. Husband is away, traveling across country at work. Someone has to pay our bills. And I am at home like millions of new mums.
Just a while ago I watched online short video from Channel 4 about loneliness of new mums. That is so much truth.
Day by day. Morning after morning. Smile after smile. Fight for every minute of joy. Making plans which day I will wash my hair or which I will cut my nails. I am a mum and I do really enjoy my occupation. I think that was always my calling to be fulfilled and complete as a parent. Lucky me. It is just sometimes so overwhelming, full of sacrifice. I am not this type of mum I complain I can not go to toilet by myself. Sometimes I go. Even when I am with my baby alone at home. I still have my comfort zone and I do care about it. It is small, that is right. And some days happens when she may sleep all day and I can read a book. But why oh why the world and most of people think I died?
I catch myself all the time: "when I had proper conversation?". And I feel a huge need to talk. My friends were verified very soon after I have had baby.
Yes we do have different priorities now. If I have a choice of party or her smile and cuddly evening I will still choose the second.

Do you think we can talk only about poos, feedings, cooing? Well we, new mums, do talk about those, but between ourselves. I love that someone is able to share with me priceless experience and I love to do the same. But we do also talk as normal people. About current affairs, books, movies... Sad but true - we have sometimes only each other, this small ghetto or enclave for our conversation. That is sad most of our friends just forgot about us. But we are here, probably in greater need to talk with.

Thanks God for all events which are available for mum&baby. That is such a relief, you can get out not only for meaningless stroll, but also you can meet someone else, just like you. I mention below only few of them, which I attended and you can do so even when your baby is still very small. Hope you will find it helpful!

La Leche League Trinity College

That was one of my first social group where I went. Z. was one week old at that time. No troubles with feeding, but I just wanted to get out and find other mums. I still like to go there. See all babies are growing, check what I can expect in few months and if I have any doubts just ask- someone will have a solution for sore nipples, sticky eye or expressing milk- for sure! Those meetings are priceless. I can talk and listen and Z. can sleep and play whenever she likes!

Tots and Tums

One of my first exercises after giving birth. It is a postnatal class for babies and mums. You can practice your pelvic floor and check how you getting on with tummy muscles. I found it very helpful and supportive. Also I met few mums who has children in very same age. It was actually few minutes from our place on Cork Street in Bru Chaomhin - handy! It is just one class, once per month and free of charge.

Mum&baby yoga

Many yoga studios has in an offer such classes for you. I went few times and... left very sweaty. Unfortunately studio when I did my pregnancy yoga is far away and trip for us would take ages, so I decided for place in city centre. I caught an idea and Z. did also. Now we have few great exercises we can do together or sometimes we just jump into studio for a class. It is great fun and hard work. I do prefer lighter attitude in yoga, focus on body not workout, so this place did not really work for me, but sometimes you need a push and sweat over your back to feel better. I also learn funny nursery rhymes!

Bring along baby in National Concert Hall

Music and babies are for me perfect combination. So we do play guitar with Z., listen to music. She even has one melody which will calm her down every time or her music box which will make her smile. It is like a magic. So are those concerts. I would say it is very intimate, but audience is large! Toddlers, babies, mums and dads. That is just  amazing to gather whole families in lunchtime! There was only two musicians, playing classical music and actually just enough. As far we heard the music it was quiet. All children were so much interested, calm I could not believe it actually happened! Obviously when concert ended everything came back to normal and children made same noise as before. But that hour of music was just priceless! Real must go, but

Mum&baby venue guide

Shopping, shopping, shopping. Sometimes I am afraid wintertime is all about that. First - before Christmas thousands of pilgrims buy presents. And then in January - trips and travels to sales destinations. I visited few shops in those times, but did not get crazy about buying. I just hate crowds, queues, battles over a pair of trousers or striving to changing rooms. And as a breastfeeding mother I get hungry so fast! So thanks God for spots just in the middle of crazy aisles.

Kilkenny Shop Cafe & Restaurant

15 Nassau St, D2

Opening hours:
Mon-Sat 8:30 - 17
Sun 10-17


Well-known place to buy Christmas tree decorations, Orla Kiely's bags, Irish crafts or just souvenirs. Did you know upstairs you can get a cup of coffee and lunch? Oh well! Not only those! They do Irish breakfast, brunch with live jazz music on weekend, hot and cold lunches, but they also have great selection of cakes, scones, pastries. They are always busy, so especially in December is hard to get a table, but if you will you won't regret. Affordable prices. Good old Irish cuisine with a twist and old fashion darker roast of coffee. It is not my favorite, but a mug of steamy filter and a plate with breakfast goodies never disappointed. They do not have a lift and stairs are rather significant barrier. But there is always a security guy next to the door ready to help. Who would not give a hand with buggy? Upstairs you will find roughly 10 high chairs, changing facilities. They will help you with baby food and if your toddler is into toasties they are ready to make you special sandwich. Staff is very nice, so let them help you with a tray. Seating area has small and bigger family tables and if your little one will fall asleep you can just watch through big window life passing by or just stare at Trinity College. Definitely worth a visit after shopping expedition!

Third Space Smithfield

14, 7 Smithfield
Arran Quay
D7

Opening hours:
Mon-Fri 7:30 - 19
Sat-Sun 9-15

I got there actually totally by accident. And I was quite surprised! It is a place of decent tuna panini, which reminds me time when I moved into Dublin. There is good selection of homemade salads, sandwiches and frittatas. Humble fast food. Inexpensive and very simple. Coffee from Badger and Dodo seems to be also well prepared. But the most important is the space. Quite enough room between tables gives chance to squeeze buggy. No lie, when I was there I think I saw at least three mothers. They have changing unit in toilet, few high chairs. And huge shelving with enormous amounts of books! So just imagine - good toasted sandwich, hot cuppa, sleeping baby and book of your choice. Sounds like home! It is fast paced environment, but I bet you can find a little sanctuary for yourself.

Quiet house. It's dark morning. St. Stephens day. For me is second day of Christmas. I am laying between my two lovely sleepy heads and my stomach is killing me. I am getting older.
I realized I do not know much about Irish Christmas. I know you buy turkey, cook cranberry sauce and open presents beside tree on Christmas morning...
It is such a challenge to keep traditon. Not even Irish, Polish or any other, but it is hard in general. Maybe it is caused by fast living, running around our lives. Or maybe we are just lazy after all and nobody wants to run again to reach the tradition finishing-line.
I was lucky this year. Did not have to go to work. Even my husband has had few days off so we could really focus on slow Christmas. Especially we had one more reason, our little baby Z. I was a little bit affraid how we will manage feedings, changings or so with all cooking and cleaning. But we just jumped into that and once again let it go. I have dirty windows. It is such a serious thing in Poland to have them cleaned and sparkling for Christmas! Nope, not me, not this year.
I planned to bake a special coffee cake for Christmas and I did not. Well I have home made mince pies, poppy seed strudel, fruit cake with sherry, gingerbread cookies and ginger bread bundt cake with guiness. I think it may be enough...
Polish Christmas is so much prep! Celebrations begin actually on Christmas Eve. We cook 12 dishes! Family recipes are priceless. So here you go: dumplings with mushroom and sauerkraut, borscht, carp fish, fish a'la greek, mushroom ravioli, dried fruit compote drink, salads, cakes, beans with marjoram and prunes... It is quite heavy but also delicious and reminds me so much about my family home. Every Polish region is slightly different and those dishes may obviosly vary.
So I think I spent 2 or 3 days in kitchen. But not entire days! It was slowly cooking, planning with a culmination on 24th. And honestly does not matter how many days it will be I will never be on time with the supper. But I love that! It is such a fun to make dumplings together, share frying of carp- "you fry this now, I will get dress and swap you".
So finally. Traditionally we start when first star will light up on the sky. This year it was 6pm. And I was starving! Suppering last quite long. So there was us 4- our family and our great friend, 12 dishes + extra milk for baby, a tiny wafer, which we share and say wishes to each other, one empty plate for a stranger who might come this night, computer to connect with family in Poland, christmas tree and presents brought by Star Man (Gwiazdor) instead of Santa which we usually open after supper. Everyone has to try every dish, otherwise there will be no luck in next year. So I tried. And I did it again yesterday! Auch!
I serve big breakfast with all leftovers and roast on 25th and make festive dinner on 26th. But we just ate all day long! Auch! With a break for a walk. And there was on streets only couples with buggies.
Love our laziness, all chats, playing with little Z., watching movies. And I love that we did not drowned in this run for presents and consumerism. In my head and heart is small newborn baby, poor and cold, lied down in a crib, scared and trustful mum just after delivery and carying, fearful dad. I do see more now the carnal aspect of Christmas which hapened tousands years ago and try to imagine them.
And I still need to believe in the magic and miracle.

Happy Christmas my dear friends!

That is going to be our first Christmas with baby. I am getting slowly in the mood. Did not do yet list what I am going to cook, but still have plenty of time. And also this year we are both on holidays, so no rushing between kitchen and busy workplaces. Presents are such an important thing in Ireland. Everybody gets crazy, shops are so busy I try to avoid city centre in December and do my shopping as a very planned or just online. But we also have our small tradition and every year we go for Dublin Flea Christmas Market. It is much bigger then usual flea market which takes place on every last Sunday on Newmarket Street in D8. I am a huge fan of bric-a-brac and supporter of small local companies especially involved in fair-trade and organic movement as well as just beautiful well-designed trinkets. But this year was special as we went there to find something for Z. She is too small for box of chocolates, so I wanted a gift which will be a toy for future but also a memory of her first Christmas. Will you guess what I have chosen? Have a look on all those loveliness for babies, toddlers and children what I found there. And if you did not have plans for tomorrow here is an idea to check crowded Point Village!

Vintage for children

Skincare for baby 

Dublin Herbalists oil and balm

Hand made herbal skin salve - Herbalist without borders

Cloths 

A bear from Stencilize

Vintage dresses from Golden Child

Tiny creative tee, 100% cotton from Grown

Toys

One of my favorite Guadalupe Creations bunny dolls

angels and Santa Clauses

Frida and Baby Bowie!

Mira mira is a treasure of remarkable child's-play

heart-shape box and wooden puzzles, cars

Saturday workshop wooden rocket

Teddy-bots! 

Mish mash of soft harmless animals from Magic Forest

Furniture for fairies' houses from Fairyhill

Small and me: everything for teething little ones to keep them busy and distracted 

Food 

(to keep you going)

Great selection of food stalls - simple toasties, freshly brewed coffee and tea, mulled wine, pies, falafels from guys from Fumbally and...

one of not many chances to try Asian cuisine by Katie Sanderson: mish mash between Korean Bim Bap and a Japanese donburi. Simply and delish nourishment for your tummy!

And after...

just get festive with mince pie!

And that is not all! 

Even daddy with little helper hunted some gems!

One of my passions is good coffee, which I got from my husband, and food. With food is a long story as even at my family home we always liked to cook. My dad every summer made preserves: jams, jellies, marmalades, cornichons and much more, his imagination never stop! And my mum cooked every day for us. She taught me how to make sponge cake when I was 5 or 6 years old and I was able to make surprise birthday cakes when I was just 8. I had my own cook book with Winnie the Pooh and tried so many recipes from there. 

Now I am in love with few chefs, Jamie Oliver and Yottam Ottolenghi are my tops. And I love to go out and eat. Try new tastes, new cuisines. Every trip has its own trail in cafes and restaurants. Has it changed since I became a mother? Well I do not drink as I breastfeed, but I miss only cold glass of white wine in summertime and a mug of mulled wine in wintertime. We go out mostly for lunches, coffees but I do not see any reason why we can not eat also dinner. And it happen few times, obviously not at 9 o'clock as Z. is at that time bathed and ready to sleep. But going to any venue with baby means that every mum will choose convenient place. So let me introduce my little...

Mum&baby venue guide

First Draft Coffee 

3 Curved St, Dublin

Opening hours:

mon-fri 10-17

sat 11-16

sun closed

Secretly hidden cafe on first floor in Filmbase in Temple Bar Dublin 2. That makes quiet and relaxing atmosphere far away from crowdy streets and running people. It is run by Ger, lovely guy, who will always make you feel special and the most important person in the world: his customer. If you do not know anything about speciality coffee, how to taste it, how to extract and find all beautiful fruity notes here is the guy! I drunk many times absolutely stunning cuppa there made with The Barn beans so I guarantee you will not regret a visit. If you are hungry they have simple and short menu: homemade soup, sandwiches. And if you are sweet tooth like me try wild flour bakery goodies. Lovely small cakes in many flavors which combinations sometimes are a bit strange, but believe me they will change your thinking about a treat. And if you are a tea drinker they also have few types of teas and herbals. 

Place is very spacious. Few tables beside huge window, big table for groups, friends or family in the middle and every cosy space with armchairs. Delicate light, raw concrete look and few Spathiphyllum plants give this spot unbelievable warmth. Or maybe it just people. 

So you can easily find comfort space to breastfeed and enough room to park your buggy. Even cafe is not on ground floor you can get there easy with lift. Also there is a changing unit in toilet for disabled. Unfortunately they do not have high chairs, but will offer you a bowl with boiling water to heat up your bottle or baby food. Must visit and recently my number one for long cheat chats with friends. 

The Fumbally 

 

Fumbally Ln,
Merchants Quay,
Dublin 8
Opening hours:
tue, thu, fri 8-17
wed 8-17 and 19.30-21
sat 10-17
sun, mon closed

Fumbally can be loved or hated. But well, most of people love the spot! That makes them so busy during lunch time and on Saturdays! So if you like queueing that is perfect time for you. But even there is busy the atmosphere is always like in good friend's house. Controlled mess, collection of vintage furnitures, books, posters, "All sorrows are less with bread" by Don Quixote written on black board and actually huge basket of bread makes that place so friendly. Open kitchen invite you to be a witness of the show of natural and intriguing flavors. They do almost everything themselves! Dairy free cappuccino? - here you go: sunflower seeds milk on espresso made with 3fe or The Barn beans. They control milk waste and baristas' leftovers are process into homemade ricotta. How clever is that?! Food is seasonal and organic. Definitely it is one of my top taste inspiration! You have to try their falafel. So simple! So delicious! It will not be a lie when I say I just love there every bite of everything and in reasonable prices. Also it is spacious for buggy, but you will notice probably more baby wearing parents than anywhere else. A minus is few steep stairs on entrance, but someone always will give you hand. Changing unit in toilet. Just ask them to heat up baby food and if you run out of snack for your little grab a piece of bread for tiny hands - it is much healthier than any baby cookies! If you have never been there yet, it is a must! 

  

Considered Cafe 

35-36 Drury Street 

Dublin 2

Opening hours:

mon-wed, fri 8.30-18

thu 8.30-19

sat 10-18

sun 12-17

For me it is a place for tea and scone (3.50 deal!). Great selection of Matthew Algie caffeinated and herbal infusions will make your cold morning better: organic roiboos with honey (jut ask!), apple loves mint, red berry mix- yumm! Huge scones are homemade and my favorite - full of raspberries. But be quick, sometimes they are gone before 11 am. For lunch they serve homemade sandwiches and hearty soups. And again in great price. Try now turkey sandwich, it is just the right time to taste that delicious combination of stuffing, meat and cranberries. 

Place have plenty of seats, as they just refurbished, but I try to avoid it between 1-2pm, as it is very busy and loudly. There is not much space for buggy, but if you do not need it beside you, ask staff and they will help you to park in corridor. Changing unit in ladies upstairs. They have one high chair so be quick to grab it before other mum. They can offer you bowl of boiling water to heat up baby food. If you have any special orders for older children like cheese tostie or babycino that is the place to make your little ones happy! When leaving do not forget to grab little gift to feel up your Xmas stocking, they have great selection of knick-knacks designed by Helen James in collaboration with Dunnes Stores. 

Hope you will like the idea of my guide and it will be helpful for all mums who are concern where to go for a coffee to feel comfortable like at home. If you have your favorite places let me know! I will check them soon! 

Out and about. I love that name. There is no such a thing in Polish language. Did I mentioned our first walk with buggy was actually a walk from hospital to home?

After a proper rest I was just so proud of myself, my baby and my husband (whole family!) I wanted to get out as soon as possible! And I checked few websites. Some of them were strict we should wait two weeks and first put baby outside in a buggy next to window, in a garden or on a balcony. And thankfully some of them says there is no reason to wait as far baby and mother feel comfortable. Well after natural birth "comfortable" meant for me not too fast and not too long distance. I did not wear Z. until I felt confident, so on the beginning daddy cuddle her under his beard. 

So we went for a short walk and little shopping to organic market nearby on very next day when we came back home. It was beginning of autumn, as I remember 15 degrees and cloudy sky. And we wanted to try baby wearing! So we put up our stretchy wrap as we learned with a teddy bear and were ready to put baby inside. She was tiny and sleeping all the time during that walk. And we were obviously like all parents terrified! Is she warm enough, comfortable, is the posture good? Thousands of questions and one million strokes of her sweet face, the only part which could have been seen.

Next day there was a Pregnancy and Baby Fair and I could not miss that! So there we had first ride in a car. And again to the sling! Z. was 3 days old and no doubts she was the youngest on the show! There was a crowd and after some time I almost blame myself for all germs which were for sure in the air. Thanks to breastfeeding and my great immune system! That was also my first time of feeding in public. Quite early if I think so.





Babywearing. I still feel like a target for other mothers. How you can squeeze your baby, hang it in front and dangle just like that? Well yes I can!

Carrying a baby in arms is natural atavism, well known as primitive behavior, has its roots in early human culture, which allowed to survive and spread our species. Just look at people still living in tribes - that is what they do! They do not have buggies, cars and car seats! They wear their babies.

All those women looking at me strangely can call me a primitive human. Yes please! No I do not do voodoo and do not drink my period blood! But I am wise woman who apart of having a baby has also life. And two free hands! Other benefits? We are close to each other which does not mean only calm baby but also warm and cosy environment. Believe me she is like small heater. And vice versa! No need to put five layers of clothes. Our stretchy wrap is already like three. Also usually I put on bigger sweater or jacket and if it will be windy I can just wrap her in another layer. And if it will be raining? Emergency umbrella will be perfect. I do not need those plastic bags which you have to wrap over a buggy and they take ¾ of storage. Happy days! Instead all my stuff is on my back in bag! Z. just sleeps. And she goes on until she will be too hot or starving. My movement is like magic and heartbeat - the best lullaby! How about posture? It is totally natural! For spine especially in first months and for hips! When she was spitting up a lot in the time where her digestive system was not mature enough upright position was the only comfortable. It probably also reduce colics. I am not an expert as we never experienced one.





For me is mostly convenience. I can jump to a grocery when I forget anything. And all prep will take about few minutes. It is also great when we are going for shopping. Not every spot has a lift and even if there is it is usually so busy and takes so much time to get in with buggy! Quick lunch in busy cafe? Here you go! Easy access to bus? Yep!
Does it mean we have never used our buggy? Not at all! We have two wraps: stretchy one Polish branded Poofi and wooven Lenny Lamb, also Polish but well known also on US ank UK market. We use mostly Poofi for now. Z. is 8 weeks and it is easier, faster, cozier and we feel more confident. But once she will be bigger, no doubts we will use Lenny Lamb and all more complicated tied configurations.

Our travel system includes car seat: Cybex Aton and Joolz Earth buggy. What can I say about car seat? You know rules: needs to be safe, new for new baby, can not be mostly used with buggy base (well the name- car seat means something ! So babies should not be in car seat in shopping centre or on walk! ) and baby must not be placed into with e.i. winter jacket. Car seat is to protect your baby in case of an accident.

Our buggy? It is just amazing! I love design, leather details, beautiful unisex elephant grey color, which is for me something between grey, khaki and olive. I can push it with one finger. Literally! I did tried! It is light, fits to our trunk easily also can be stored upright. And it has two options - a cot or seat. Obviously at the moment we use cot. Is slightly longer than other brands, high enough, so you do not have to bend to take baby out. As I know seat option can be used as high chair - handy in restaurant! Adjustable handle - important for my taller husband. For me storage space is just enough. Some people complain the bag is small or lower storage too compact. But I have also mummy hook attached and cupholder for coffee so I can fit everything what is necessary for me.

I try to walk a lot with Z. Irish autumn was this year very mild. And even today when December is just about to begin we had such a beautiful sunny day! So being out is a must! And when we are cold or just need cosy space for feeding we usually stop in one of Dublin's cafes, which very often are adapted to mums and babies needs. Which ones? Let's wait for new post. I will find out for you! 

I am guilty. That is how midwifes, doctors and medical carers made me to feel. I believe that one of the biggest concern for parents-to-be is sleep deprivation. Antenatal classes trying to prepare you by explaining that a baby will cry: often, a lot, loudly and sometimes do-not-know-why. So your life is just going about to change. No pubs, meetings with friends, newspaper reading, coffees in favorite cafes, listening to music. Cold breakfasts, late lunches, no dinners. OMG! That what I saw on all Irish faces at same time. Plus sleep while your baby is sleeping and same time nurture yourself - eat well, just look after yourself! So how to manage all of those and not get crazy?

So my first focus was sleep. We bought big cot for Z.'s room quite early. We just could not wait! And than we got small moses basket for first few months and great mobile solution also for daytime. And then I went to hospital. All staff encourage skin-to-skin contact. Fair enough. Great feeling! You have your baby on chest, breathing, wriggling like a minutes ago in your tummy, it is warm and cosy, you are tired as never after delivery and... you fall asleep. What is then? I think your baby should magically teleports herself to cot. Well, surprisingly it did not happen in my case. I fall asleep with my baby in bed. In hospital. And I was woken up by midwife in the middle of the night and asked to put my girl to cot. I was just exhausted, sleepy and... I answered in Polish without thinking: "Ale ona będzie płakać!" (But she will be crying!). Midwife looked at me like at crazy women who just cursed her. So I repeated in english. Well "that is the policy, put your baby down in cot". So I decided to not sleep and have her next to me.

Once we were back home, we arrange everything. Put Z. overnights to moses basket. But she was falling asleep in my or my husband arms. So we were transferring her and she slept 2-3 hours. And we had our system. Husband was changing her in first half on night (I was like zombie at that time) and brought her for feeding and second half, on morning I was doing by myself. And that was perfect. Guilt free. But on the morning moses basket transfers were harder and harder and... I fall asleep few times and Z. was with us in bed. I was terrified we would do something accidentally to our baby. But we have noticed also that all of us slept just much better in that configuration.

So what we should do? Co-sleeping or worse bed sharing is such a controversial thing! I was bad mother. I risked my baby's life. We will never have same life as we had before. I am not going even mention our sex life.

I started to read and look for answers. When I went for postnatal class I think someone asked that and answer was so strict: "you need to put your baby on back in cot" I decided to never have questions about bed-sharing to Irish medical staff.

What did we do to our humanity? Depressions, medicals, low self-confidence, no trust in our bodies, to the others, arguing families, zero respect to beloved ones. Too posh to push, breast for sale not for feeding, bottles instead of breasts... And now this. Sleeping. Why all mammals sleep in nests? Mothers and babies? And why we trying to be so different again?

So there is one professor, anthropologist, who create in US a Laboratory of Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep. James J. McKenna is the most famous person and the world’s leading authority on mother-infant co-sleeping in relationship to breastfeeding and SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). So I had a read on his website. Then I started to ask other mums. And suddenly, all of them were hiding with bed sharing. We are all bad mothers!

I spoke with my husband and he said he did not see any problem when there was three of us in a bed. We checked 7 steps of safe bed-sharing and yeah! We can do it! 

So then community. I have heard so many opinions and judgements! Your baby will get use to it. She will be addicted to you. No life. No sex. Divorce! It is unhealthy. And none of you will ever have a proper sleep. For years!

How did it happen our bed life is in bloom? I said to myself again I should follow my instinct. And I prioritized. The most important thing is for me well rested daddy, baby and mummy. In that order. Daddy - someone needs to make money, baby - will be less fussy during day, mummy - can catch some sleep during day with baby. But usually we are fresh and ready for new day in same way. So it did not matter for me how we would do this. If bed sharing works for you, that is fine! You are fine! 

I found and still am finding many benefits! It helps with breastfeeding - sometimes Z. will not even cry and somehow I will wake up and I know by her movement she is hungry. I can feed longer on my side and fall asleep, sometimes daddy will put my breast if it will fall out. Baby is more calm and sleep longer. When I want to do something on morning I leave them together and they can sleep for hours then! All of us just love being close to each other! And I love to take photos when we sleep together!

And sex? Well my stretch marks, flabby belly or post delivery vagina did not ruined that so will my baby? And who said you have to make love only at evening and in bed..?